


I Still Remember How to Be a Good Boy

by Callisto_HK



Series: The Children Are Our Future [3]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Tony, Kid Abby, Kid Fic, Kid Kate, Kid Tony, Past Child Abuse, Tony DiNozzo & Jethro Gibbs Father-Son Relationship, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-16 12:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10570992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callisto_HK/pseuds/Callisto_HK
Summary: Gibbs and Shannon love their kids; adopted or not! They both agree that Tony and Abby are the best things that have happened to them. They might just forget sometimes that living in a house full of kids is different than what they used to have before; and Gibbs is kinda known to be short-tempered when he's too frustrated after not being able to solve a difficult case and not finding quiet and calm at home.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Back with another story in this universe; in this one Tim hasn't come to Gibbs' house yet; so it's just the girls and Tony, again.
> 
> Also, this is probably gonna be a 4 chapter story and hopefully, I'll be able to post a chapter every two weeks, at most.   
> Sorry for the long gap between this story and the last one. Hope you like where this one goes.
> 
> I don't own the show and its characters and all mistakes are mine.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was pissed off, exhausted and impatient beyond belief.

Sometimes, Shannon wondered if it'd be better if they'd just had one child and had never opened their door to any guests, because clearly there was a limit to Jethro's patience and she hated to admit it, but she'd been aware of it from the very beginning.

Oh, Jethro was a great man and very kind at heart; he cared about her and the kids so much that it sometimes worried Shannon, because she didn't know what the man would do if anything happened to any of them and that scared her since she loved him and didn't want him to lose himself if anything bad happened to the ones he loved; but then there were times that she was sure that her husband wouldn't want anything more than going back to active duty so that he could get the hell away from them.

Sighing, she prayed for more patience with her husband who was now pretty much a ticking bomb. She knew the current case that he and his team were working on was a bad one and that it was affecting Jethro and his mood, and she was aware that the kids' nonstop bickering and noises were getting on his nerves, but what was she supposed to do? Other than being patient with all of them, that is!

Gibbs needed to get over it and remember that kids were kids; they didn't have an on-off switch so he could turn them off whenever he was tired.

It pained her that the man was taking his frustration on the kids and mostly on Tony; just because he was the only boy in the house and Gibbs couldn't raise his voice to any little girl, didn't mean the little boy had to bear the brunt of Jethro's ire. And frankly, she was getting tired of being on damage control; whenever Gibbs threw an angry glare towards Tony or snapped at him, she had to quickly take control and remind their son that it was alright, his dad hadn't meant it and he was just tired and thankfully, so far, Tony had accepted all her excuses and after some minutes of silence he'd bounce back.

She really hoped that the case Gibbs and his team were working on would be closed sooner; she hated snapping at her husband and she felt she was getting closer and closer to doing that with the way Jethro was behaving.

That night, after they sent the kids to their beds and were finally alone, she was again trying to be the voice of reason and defuse the situation before the man did something he'd no doubt regret later.

"It's not _my_ fault, Shan." Gibbs hissed, sounding hurt and annoyed that the woman was accusing him of being short-tempered. "That boy is getting out of hand; I'm telling you. I think we've given him too much leeway and it's time we stopped."

She frowned. "He's just a little boy, Jethro; he's _supposed_ to be always active and playful."

"And mischievous and annoying and loud and everything else? For the love of God, Shannon, the boy never shuts up and would it actually hurt him to, once in a while, play in his room and not drive everyone in this house crazy? He's not the only one living here, but he acts like he is and I'm telling you it's _our_ fault; we tried to make him come out of his shell and to do so we let him do whatever he wanted without any repercussions and now he's taking advantage of it; that boy is devil."

"Whoa there." Shannon's eyes had widened. "First of all, keep your voice down; second of all, what the hell? What's this coming from?"

Taking a deep breath, Jethro looked away. "I'm just tired; I wish he'd shut up; I wish he'd go back to the way he was the days after we'd just brought him home; he was all quiet and good, back then; nothing like... like _this_. We didn't sign up for _this,_ Shannon. I'm not sure I can deal with this much longer."

"Speak for yourself;" Now she was getting angry, "I've very much signed up for this and much more; I love seeing him happy."

"You saying you wouldn't like it if we had some quiet? Without always having to worry about what the hell that boy is up to?"

Well, she didn't exactly mind some quiet, but that didn't mean she wanted her son to be all withdrawn again; and she said so, quietly.

"Maybe we made a mistake;" Jethro groaned. "Sometimes I think we shouldn't have adopted him; things would've been much easier; he's too much."

She gasped; "You don't mean it. You're just tired now."

Shrugging, he said, "Don't know. All I know is that I'm tired of all the trouble he makes. I just wish I could come to a quiet home after a hectic and crazy day at work."

"Well, maybe _you_ 're the problem, then." She snapped angrily. "If you hate it this much, maybe you should go away and find a quiet home." With that she stood up and left their room. She'd had enough of it.

Jethro sat there with a lax jaw; he'd never seen his wife that mad and after a couple of minutes of thinking, he realized that he couldn't blame her; what the hell was wrong with him? Maybe she was right; maybe he _was_ the problem; he loved his kids; he loved seeing Tony happy and laughing and free; what the hell was he thinking saying those things about his boy? God, he was an awful father to even think those things. Thank God he hadn't said anything to the boy himself; he didn't think he could live with himself if he hurt his little boy like that; especially after the life Tony'd had in his first house with his biological parents.

Unbeknown to the both adults; a small figure stood very still, in the shadow in the hallway and wondered what he should do next. The little boy had had a bad dream and had gotten up to go get some water and the angry muttering coming from his parents' room had stopped him on his way.

He hadn't mean to eavesdrop, but the situation had been too similar to the times with his real mother and father and the memory of those days had him frozen in his place and involuntarily he'd heard everything that had been exchanged in his adoptive parents' room; he'd heard how the man he looked up to and loved more than anything in the world hated him and regretted taking him into his house; he'd heard how tired the man was of him, and in his childish world, it only meant that everything his real father had said to him and about him had been true. He _was_ a nuisance that no one needed or wanted and he had to be punished for coming to this world and ruining everyone's life.

Biting his lip, Tony quickly tiptoed to his room and buried himself under his blanket and pillow, hoping that he wouldn't make a sound to alert the others; he'd been the cause of enough trouble in this house. He needed to be better or Gibbs would send him away and he didn't know where he'd go if they didn't want him here and it scared him more than his father's beating and hurtful words ever did.

He needed to become a good boy again; Gibbs was right, he'd become really annoying and loud and... And devilish. He had to stop being bad. Gibbs had said that he wished Tony would be as quiet as the day he'd been adopted and that he wouldn't make so much trouble; Tony could do that; he knew how to; he'd just forgotten how important it was to do it. But from now on, he'd become the boy his real father had taught him to be. Senior had never liked him; not even when he'd been quiet; but maybe that'd be enough for Gibbs, because he didn't know how to be more than quiet or to be enough; the only way to be perfect for his father had been if he didn't exist, at all and that'd been why he'd left his father's home in the first place; well, that and that Senior had scared him more than ever that night; anyway, he hoped he didn't have to leave here, too and that just being unheard and unseen would be good enough here. He liked it in Gibbs' house; they never hurt him, so he really wanted to stay if they'd let him.

.

The next morning, Shannon was trying hard not to give her husband the cold shoulder in front of the kids, but she was having a hard time not doing just that; because as much as the girls were busy talking about their dreams and everything that came to their minds, Tony was quiet and seemed like he was watching them carefully. He was sharp and always felt it way before the others when something was wrong and both Gibbs and Shannon knew he could always sense the tension between them; so they attempted to act normal around each other; even though Shannon was still mad and Jethro was quite regretful, struggling to find a way to show his remorse without actually apologizing and therefore getting the kids' attention.

Giving up, he finally kissed his wife on the cheek, patted the kids on the back or ruffling their hair; not noticing when Tony'd little body stiffened at the touch; and left the house to get to work.

Shannon had the day off, so the kids didn't need a babysitter that day and usually it meant something special after their dinner since she was home and could bake something to go with the dinner.

After breakfast, Abby and Kate quickly ran out to the back yard to play with their dolls and Shannon expected Tony to either go and tease them for it or go play with his toys while watching some cartoons on TV; so, she was surprised when the boy quietly asked if she needed help cleaning the kitchen.

Finding that a bit odd, she smiled and accepted the help; hoping that whatever was bothering her son would come out during their time together. Maybe Tony had had a bad night again; they'd finally managed to get him to talk about his nightmares with them and although it still wasn't a regular occurrence, he'd sometimes open up to her or Jethro; so maybe that was why he'd offered to help, so that he could find a way to talk.

When they boy didn't speak a word after ten minutes of cleaning the table and putting the dishes away, Shannon decided to prod a little. "Did you sleep well, last night?"

She watched as her question startled Tony, like he hadn't expected to be addressed. The boy looked up at her and smiled slightly, a smile that was so artificial that actually caught Shannon by surprise; she hadn't seen that smile on the boy's face in a long time.

"Yes." That was Tony's short response. Nothing further.

Blinking with confusion, she wondered how Tony's night had actually been. Now she was pretty sure that her son had had a nightmare the night before; but maybe he wasn't ready to talk about it and they'd learned not to push him if that was the case.

"Good." She smiled kindly and tried to hide her concern. "Thanks for helping me here. You're an amazing son." She added for good measure, knowing that he did need to hear a word of praise every now and then and these days, she was the only one handing them out. "Why don't you go play or watch something on TV?"

Tony seemed to be wanting to say something else, but he nodded instead and quickly left; not running out like he'd usually do, just walking out quickly; with his head hanging low.

Shannon decided to give him some time; he was good at dealing with his emotions and she was sure that whatever was bothering him would be resolved by noon, or night at the latest. Tony was resilient and she loved it about him; a nightmare wouldn't be able to keep him down; not even if the nightmare was an actual memory from his earlier years.  
 **.**

**.**

**TBC ...**

**.**


	2. Chapter 2

_Shannon decided to give him some time; he was good at dealing with his emotions and she was sure that whatever was bothering him would be resolved by noon, or night at the latest. Tony was resilient and she loved it about him; a nightmare wouldn't be able to keep him down; not even if the nightmare was an actual memory from his earlier years._

* * *

Whatever that was bothering her son wasn't resolved by noon, though and neither it was by night. Throughout the day, Tony stayed in his room, and only left when Shannon sent Abby to call him for lunch. She was sure that the boy hadn't even left his room to go to the bathroom more than once.

When he arrived home, that night, Gibbs was surprised to find the house actually quiet. He was dead tired and was supporting a bruised cheek from when a perp had punched him; but despite those things, he was content because the case was closed successfully and justice had been served.

He'd bought a bouquet of flowers for Shannon to make it up for his last night's angry rants and was ready to face the noises inside his house with a smile on his face; so you can imagine his surprise when he walked in and found the place quiet. It wasn't eerily quiet; no, he could hear the sound of Abby and Kate's giggling coming from the stairway and Shannon seemed to be in the kitchen setting the table from the sound of it; but it still was quiet for _his_ house. Usually, when he arrived home, the TV would be on with no one in front of it; the kids were running around or Tony's voice would be heard arguing with Kate while Abby tried to jump in their discussions or Tony would be talking nonstop about something with his mom; but that night he couldn't hear any of those things; so he called out that he was home and felt his chest swell with happiness when Abby ran down the stairs to hug him and Kate followed to greet him with a smile.

Shannon came out of the kitchen and although the happy spark was missing from her eyes, which Gibbs suspected was the result of their last night argument; her smile was there, bright and happy. She even tilted her head and raised an eyebrow when she spotted the flowers and shook her head when she kissed him on the cheek and gently touched his bruised face to make sure he was alright.

Yes, all seemed to be good with them. Gibbs sighed happily as he followed the woman to the kitchen.

"So, where's Tony?" He figured if the little guy's voice wasn't echoing in the house and he hadn't run to greet him happily, he must be out; maybe he'd found a friend and was sleeping over.

Shannon's happy smile dropped from her beautiful face. "In his room."

Gibbs had to take a couple of seconds to digest that. "What?"

"You heard me."

"What's he done?" He automatically jumped to the wrong conclusion; assuming that he'd done something wrong and Shannon had sent him to his room.

However, instead of sighing and confirming his suspicions, she glared at him, "Nothing. He has barely left his room the whole day."

Gibbs frowned but then groaned, "God help us! I bet he's up to something terrible."

"Hey." Shannon sounded irritated, even though her voice was low. "Would you stop criticizing him so much? Why are you so hard on him? He's not up to anything and when has he ever done something terrible, anyway?"

"Honey, I didn't mean it that way." He was taken aback by the fire in her eyes.

"No? Then why did you say it?"

"It just came out." He said apologetically. "Shannon, I love Tony; I didn't mean it like he causes trouble."

"Oh, excuse me for thinking you did mean that after saying those things last night."

"I'm sorry for last night." Gibbs sighed, "Shouldn't have said those things. I didn't mean any of them. I don't even know where they were coming from. You know it!"

She shrugged.

"Come on. You know I love having him here with us. He's my son and I wouldn't trade him with anything in this world."

"You still shouldn't have said those things."

"I know and I'm so so sorry. Forgive me?"

"Only if you promise that it'll never happen again."

"Cross my heart."

"What if you've snapped at Tony with things like that when you were that angry, Jethro?" She shook her head, sounding and looking disappointed.

Averting his gaze, Gibbs sighed, "I know what you mean; I just keep thanking my lucky stars that it happened then in the dark of our room."

"You gotta do something about your anger." She stated firmly. "The kids don't deserve to be your target when you have a bad day."

"I'll... I-" Gibbs swallowed. "I swear I didn't mean to-..." he couldn't find the right words.

"I know, Jethro." She stroked his cheek with her thumb. "We've got kids now, though and we gotta work harder to fix our issues."

"I'm trying."

"Well, you gotta try harder." She shrugged. "And you gotta listen to me more often."

"I already do that all the time!" The man almost whined.

"Yeah? Well, then the next time I tell you to shut it, you'll shut it and take yourself and your anger out of my house and away from my kids. Capisce?"

"The doghouse used to be just the couch." Jethro's shoulders slumped.

"And there used to be just the two of us." She rolled her eyes.

Jethro pondered that and then nodded. "I like that we're a bigger family, now."

"So do I!"

"So..." Jethro smiled. "I just need to listen better next time?"

"Yup."

"Got it."

"And maybe you could take some time and talk to Tony? He's been really quiet today. I'm worried about him."

"So he really hasn't left his room?"

Shaking her head, she said, "Not since lunch, and even then I had to send Abby to get him. After lunch, he stayed long enough to clean the table and help with the dishes but then he went to his room and had been there ever since."

Gibbs knew it wasn't a good sign. "Why don't I go get him for dinner? Maybe he talks to me."

She nodded her head OK. "Don't push him, though."

"I won't." He called over his shoulder as he walked up the stairs to his son's room.

"Tony?" He knocked on the door before opening it, expecting to find Tony either in bed feeling sick -because that'd explain why he'd been so quiet-, or playing with his action figures; but he was surprised when he found the boy sitting on the windowsill, eyes on something outside the window and looking lost in thought.

"What's out there?" He asked as he gently touched his son's shoulder but pulled his hand back quickly when suddenly Tony jumped in his place, looking frightened.

"Hey, hey, calm down, son. It's just me." He realized that Tony hadn't heard him entering his room. Shannon was right; something was bothering their little boy if he'd been that lost in thought.

Tony blinked a few times and quickly pulled himself together. "Hi. Sorry; didn't hear you come in."

"Yeah, I figured." Gibbs smiled kindly. "What's up, little guy?"

"Um, nothing." Tony swallowed; he looked worried.

"Have you done something?" Gibbs narrowed his eyes playfully; he hadn't meant it seriously and the smile on his face should've given him away, so he was a bit stunned when Tony looked even more terrified.

"No. I swear to God. I've been here all day. You can ask the others."

Gibbs was really confused now. "OK; alright. I was just kidding. You OK, son?"

"Yes."

"You sure? Is there anything you wanna talk about? Did you have a bad dream last night?"

 _Yes, he'd had a bad dream last night. He'd dreamed of being beaten and then thrown out of his house. But this time, not by his real father; this time Gibbs had done those things._ So he just shook his head. He couldn't tell the man about it; Gibbs would be angry; he'd said he wished Tony would just be quiet. "No."

Gibbs wasn't convinced, of course, but he'd promised not to push. "OK. If you're sure?"

Tony nodded.

"Let's go have dinner, huh?" He put a hand on Tony's shoulder and inwardly cringed and silently cursed Tony's real father when the boy's body stiffened under his hand. Squeezing his son's shoulder he led him down the stairs and to the kitchen and quietly shook his head to Shannon's silent inquiry; clearly she wanted to know if he'd been able to get to the root of problem and when he shook his head no; she sighed and smiled down at their son as she put a plate in front of him.

Throughout the dinner, Tony remained quiet; he didn't even look up from his plate and even though Gibbs and Shannon were both listening to Abby and Kate talking about their day, they kept an eye on Tony and watched as he mostly played with his food and remained quiet. He didn't even want cake when Shannon announced that she had made his favorite chocolate cake; he politely thanked her, saying he was full and asked whether he could be excused?

Both parents were shocked, but it was Kate who made it clear it wasn't normal for Tony to turn food down.

"What are you up to, Tony?" She asked with narrowed eyes. "I swear if you're planning something I'll kill you."

Abby giggled, but Tony looked at her with sad eyes and just replied, "OK."

That shocked even Kate to silence.

"Ah, Tony, honey, are you feeling sick?" Shannon asked, kinda hoping that the answer would be yes, because at least then she could do something about it. But Tony quickly said no and once again asked if he could be excused; he even said he could come back to clean the table once they were done eating; but Shannon smiled kindly and said, "No need, sweetie. The girls will do that. You go ahead and get ready for bed. Thanks for your help today." She kissed him on the head.

"We'll be up to say good night, shortly." Gibbs told his son and tried not to sound too worried.

The rest of dinner went by quietly; even Abby and Kate didn't talk much after that. They asked what was wrong; but since no one had an answer, Shannon told them that everything was alright and Tony was probably coming down with something and they should give him some space. The girls nodded and decided to stay away and not bother Tony, so he'd feel better soon.

Gibbs and Shannon both walked to their son's room to wish him a good night, but they found him already in his bed and seemingly asleep; so Shannon kissed his forehead and they quietly left the room.

They couldn't do anything and they were lost; all they could do was to hope that Tony would either talk to them or would be better by the next day.

**.**

**.**

**TBC ...**

**.**


	3. Chapter 3

_Gibbs and Shannon both walked to their son's room to wish him a good night, but they found him already in his bed and seemingly asleep; so Shannon kissed his forehead and they quietly left the room._

_They couldn't do anything and they were lost; all they could do was to hope that Tony would either talk to them or would be better by the next day._

* * *

But Tony wasn't better the next day, or the day after that or the one after.

It was a week that Tony had gone back into his shell and nothing seemed to be enough to bring him out. Unfortunately both Gibbs and Shannon were really busy the few days after Tony started to pull away and therefore, they didn't have much time to talk to him to find out what was wrong, either; all they knew was that, these days, if they wanted to see Tony they had to go to his room and to hear his voice they had to address him directly, otherwise the boy would remain quiet and out of sight.

He wouldn't even play; not even when Abby asked him and it'd gotten to the point that even Kate had asked him if he wanted to talk about whatever was bothering him. She'd given him multiple reasons to tease her just so that he'd break his silence and get back to his old self, but every time, instead of showing the desired result, Tony had just averted his gaze and remained quiet, looking even more anxious than before.

The whole situation was dampening the girls' enthusiasm, as well. They wouldn't run around anymore and Abby looked always worried about Tony.

Both Shannon and Gibbs were sensing the heavy atmosphere of the house and finally they decided that what they all needed was a day away from home. So, once the weekend arrived, they told the kids that they were going on a picnic and when Abby started to jump up and down and she and Kate rushed to their rooms to get some stuff for the picnic, both parents felt they had done well and had made the right decision; that feeling disappeared, though, once they noticed Tony's faraway look; his reaction to the news, or rather, the _lack_ of it, had confused them.

"Hey, Tones." Shannon ruffled the boy's hair. "Why don't you go grab your baseball and bat so you can play with Jethro in the park?"

Tony looked at her questioningly.

"Umm... Picnic?" Shannon reminded him, laughing kindly; but something in her head screamed about the wrongness of the situation and the look her son was giving her.

Tony looked genuinely surprised. "I'm coming, too?"

That rendered both Shannon and Jethro speechless.

Taking their silence the wrong way, Tony dropped his gaze and said, "It's OK. I'll be fine here. I'll see you when you're back." And quietly but quickly, he left the kitchen.

It took the young parents a couple of minutes to shake themselves out of their stupor and once they did, they were both rushing up the stairs to Tony's room.

"Tony?" Gibbs opened the door to find Tony at his usual spot by the window; the boy's eyes were glassy and there was no trace of any emotion on his face; it was clear that the boy had locked up all his feelings.

Shannon couldn't take it anymore; she walked to him and pulled him into a hug. "Tony; baby, of course you're coming with us. This is a family outing. Why would you even _think_ that you aren't coming?"

Tony remained quiet because he didn't know what to say; was he supposed to answer honestly? Glancing at Gibbs, he got a bit scared when he saw the stormy look on his face; he couldn't possibly know that Gibbs was worried sick about him and that was why he looked so distraught.

The man thought with himself that if it was possible, he'd cancel the picnic and instead would find a way to see what was bothering his son so much; but he'd promised and the girls were really looking forward to the picnic and maybe being away from home would lift Tony's spirits, as well; they had to try.

"Let's go take the stuff to the car; come help me, son." Gibbs smiled, but didn't wait for an answer as he walked away.

Shannon let go of Tony; she knew she wouldn't get anywhere in a few minutes that it'd take for the girls to get ready and she really didn't want to ruin their happiness.

In order to keep the girls' spirits high, the parents didn't address Tony's quietness and down mood again, but by the time the day was over and they got home, they were tired of pretending like everything was fine.

After putting the girls to their beds, they both went to Tony's room to talk to him, but once again found him in his bed, his back to the door and his head buried under the blanket.

Whatever it was that was bothering Tony, clearly wasn't caused by a nightmare or a memory from his past; it'd become clear that, for some reasons, Tony was wary of _them_ and it was disheartening to see how quiet, withdrawn and distant he'd become in the last few days. He was extremely polite; thanked them for the smallest things and helped them with the house chores; but never spoke unless he was addressed and never asked for anything.

Gibbs had started to hate the silence of the house; it wasn't exactly quiet per se, but he missed the chaos that he used to walk into.

"It's true when they say be careful what you wish for." He said quietly as he lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

"What?" Shannon was half listening; her mind already busy with her son's problem.

"Just last week, I was lying here, telling you that I wish I could have some silence in this house; that I wished Tony would be the way he was when we first adopted him." He explained, not noticing the horrified look that had washed over Shannon's features. "I hate it now. I really really hate it."

"O my God, Jethro!"

Her gasp got Gibbs' full attention and he quickly sat up and faced his wife. "What's it? What's wrong, Shan?"

"What's wrong?" Shannon almost screamed and then quickly covered her mouth to stop her voice from rising; in a quiet, but harsh voice, she continued, "What's wrong is that this is all _your_ fault."

"What?"

"Don't look at me like that! You just said it yourself; you wished Tony would become quiet. You said you regretted adopting him. You called him loud and annoying. And now look what's happened!"

"So you're saying it's all happened just because I _wished_ something?" Gibbs snapped. "What, a fairy has heard what I said and has decided to grant me one wish? Grow up, woman! Life is not a fairy tale; things like that don't happen in the real life."

Furious for being mocked like that, Shannon pushed hard against her husband's chest, sending him, consequently, off the bed. "Fuck you! I didn't say it happened _because_ of your wish."

Rubbing his chest and shoulder where he'd hit the floor, Gibbs growled under his breath; he knew better than to say anything when Shannon was that angry with him.

"You said all those things last week and _when_ did Tony start to withdraw from everyone? _When_ did he suddenly become so quiet and distant? _When_ did the spark in his eyes go away?" She asked in a hushed tone. "Let me see... Oh! That's right; the morning after _you_ said those things. The morning after you said you were tired of him and wished you hadn't met him in the first place."

Gibbs was now seeing what his wife was getting at; the look of realization and horror covered his face. "You... You think he's heard me?"

"What other explanation is there?" She asked harshly, blinking quickly to keep the tears at bay. "We both know there's no such thing as a coincidence and Tony's clearly not bothered by his usual bad dreams; he's scared of _us_ ; he gets _surprised_ when we say he's coming to a picnic with us; he gets afraid when _we_ touch him." Grabbing her head in her hands, she rubbed her scalp with the tip of her fingers. "Jesus, Jethro! He _has_ become what he'd been when we first brought him home. He's giving us what you asked for." Her tone was accusatory and she didn't even try to hide it. "There! You got the boy you wished for. Hope you're happy now." With that she got up from the bed and left the room; it took everything she had, not to bang the door when she left.

Jethro was still shocked and horrified at what he'd heard and realized. Shannon was right; this couldn't be a coincidence. Somehow, Tony must've heard him saying those awful things and now, the boy was seeing him in the same light as he saw his real father and so he'd returned to his old self; to what his father had demanded of him; he was becoming unheard and unseen in the house.

Gibbs didn't think he could hate himself more even if he tried. He didn't think he regretted anything else in his life more than this. What had he done? How could he fix it? _How?!_

Down in the basement, Shannon was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall and holding a glass of bourbon in her hand. She barely drank, but when she did, she took something strong, and tonight, she certainly needed something strong.

She heard Jethro descending the stairs and cautiously sitting beside her on the cement floor; the man grabbed the glass from her hand and emptied it in one gulp.

"Hey! That was mine." She protested weakly, but didn't reach for the bottle to refill her glass and neither did Jethro.

"I screwed up, Shan."

"Yes." She said, not seeing the point to sugarcoat things.

"What should I do?"

"You think I'd be sitting here and drink if I knew?" She answered bitterly, eyeing the bottle of bourbon longingly.

They sat there side by side for quite a while, not exchanging a single word. It was something they both enjoyed, sitting together silently and taking comfort from each other's presence; but that night it was different; that night they weren't thinking about their routine and normal problems, enjoying each other's company; that night they were both thinking of a way to fix a mistake that had hurt someone they both loved to the end of the world. If anyone else had hurt their son, they both knew they'd be kicking some asses, showing the world what happened if someone messed with their kids, their family. But the pain hadn't been caused by an outsider, this time and that's why they were so lost. Other than words, they had nothing to offer to their son and somehow, for some reasons, they didn't think their words would help their boy's broken soul.

"Call your boss. Tell him you can't go to work tomorrow." Shannon finally broke the silence and Gibbs, who was more than happy to let her take control of the situation, nodded his agreement.

"I'll call Elise," she mentioned their babysitter, "and ask her to come and get the girls. We need the day alone with Tony."

Again Gibbs nodded.

"Not sure it'd do any good, though." She sighed.

"We gotta start somewhere. _I_... _I_ gotta start somewhere." He sighed and there was so much pain in his voice that left Shannon no doubt that whatever had left her husband's mouth had been just an angry rant, directed at the wrong person and he hadn't meant a word of it; not that it was an excuse; no; but at least it meant things like that would never happen again.

"Oh, Jethro." She sighed brokenly. "He... I can't help thinking about the way he looked at us and stayed quiet and I just wanna..." She swallowed and leaned her head against Jethro's shoulder. The man opened his arm and pulled her into a one side hug.

"I know." He replied quietly and then suddenly started to laugh. It sounded hollow and bitter but it still surprised Shannon, causing her to pull away to stare at him.

Seeing that look on her face, Gibbs explained, "To think I cursed his father in my head last week when he shrank away from my touch, when I had _myself_ to curse." He shook his head. "And you know what, I bet he's been lying about not having a nightmare when we asked him about it; he probably has had a lot of them; just with me in them instead of that bastard of sperm donor this time."

Shannon wanted to comfort him, but she wasn't sure how.

"If I can't get his trust back... God, Shan! If I don't see that easy smile on his face again or don't hear his playful laughter again, I don't know what I'd do."

"How can we make him see that we mean it when we say we're sorry, Jethro? How can we make him believe us now?" She asked quietly, once again leaning against him.

"I don't know." He replied ruefully, "But I'd die trying, anyway."

She nodded against his chest, because that was about the only thing they could do.

"I'm sorry, Shan."

"I know." She sighed.

"You know, you didn't do anything; you were mad at me for saying those things; but now Tony is scared of you, too and it's all my fault. I'm sorry for that, too."

Biting her lip, she, once again, fought the tears that had welled up in her eyes and just nodded again; afraid that if she opened her mouth, her voice would tremble or a sob would escape.

**.**

**.**

**TBC ...**

**.**


	4. Chapter 4

"Tooonyyy?" Shannon called out with a singsong voice as she shook her son awake.

The young parents had sent the girls away with their babysitter; called their work places and arranged their day off and then together they'd made breakfast and walked to Tony's room. Now Jethro was holding the tray as Shannon tried to wake Tony up.

Rubbing his eyes with his fists, the little boy slowly opened his eyes; upon seeing Shannon and Gibbs, he quickly sat up and looked at them with surprise.

"Hello there." She smiled happily, even though she felt anything but happy on the inside.

"Look what we have here!" Jethro called as he walked around the bed and carefully sat down on the bed on the other side of his son; making himself comfortable.

Tony murmured a good morning, but otherwise remained quiet and studied that strange behavior of his parents.

"Breakfast in bed; what do you say? Fun, huh?" Shannon pulled him in a one arm hug as Jethro put the tray in front of his son. There were all kinds of food for a big breakfast there; from juice and milk to scrambled egg and pancakes and toast.

"What?" The boy was so shocked he wasn't even sure this wasn't a dream.

"Well, today is a special day; so we thought we could start with a huge breakfast." Jethro explained as he held a fork with pancake in front of Tony's mouth.

Tony's eyes crossed as he tried to look at the fork which was entering his mouth without him even noticing and Jethro couldn't help it, he just burst into laughter. At the sound of his laughter, Tony pulled away and looked at him strangely. He then looked at Shannon. "Special day?" He asked quietly.

"Yes, baby." She nodded with a smile. "Today, it's just the three of us; you, me and your dad. How does that sound?"

That kinda sounded scary, to be honest. But Tony thought it wasn't polite to mention it. So he remained quiet. They both fed him, since the boy was clearly too mystified to move and every time he tried to reach out and hold the fork or the glass back, they'd maneuver the food into his mouth, not letting him refuse eating; they tried to keep up the happy chattering, even though they both felt dejected when the little boy kept eyeing them suspiciously, remaining quiet.

Once the breakfast was over, Gibbs put the tray on the floor and made himself more comfortable on the bed.

Tony couldn't take it anymore, he had to know; "Are you sending me away?" He asked quietly because he'd tried to come up with another explanation and this one was the only thing that made sense to him; they probably were going to send him away and this was his last day with them, which was why they called it special. He felt his heart sinking at that thought; he'd really tried to be better, but apparently that hadn't been enough here either and because they were nice people, unlike his real father, they were going to make his last day a happy one. "I'm sorry." He added, sounding resigned; "I tried. I'm sorry I'm loud and bad. I tried to be better. I'm sorry."

Shannon turned her head away, so Tony wouldn't see how red her eyes had suddenly become as Jethro closed his eyes for a second to compose himself; their suspicions were confirmed; Tony had actually heard them since he was using the very same words that had left Gibbs' mouth.

Lifting Tony up with ease, Gibbs put him on his legs so he could look the boy in the eyes when he talked. "Tony, no. No, we'll never send you away. Never! You're our son and this will always and forever be your home, OK?"

The boy looked doubtful, so Gibbs continued. "Last night..." He paused and looked at Shannon, who nodded to indicate that he should continue, "Last night we realized what had been bothering you the whole week. We weren't sure, but... But we think that somehow you've heard some awful things that left my mouth last week. Is that true?"

Tony looked down, unable to hold his dad's gaze.

That was enough of a confirmation. "Oh, Tony, I'm so sorry." Jethro pressed Tony's small body to his chest and held him there for some long seconds before pulling back, murmuring apologies all along. He, then, put a hand on the back of the boy's head and held his gaze "You've got no idea how much I hate myself for saying those things; even though they aren't true and were never my real feelings; I still shouldn't have said those terrible things." He paused, but when Tony didn't react in any way, he went on, "I want you to know that I regretted them the moment I said them; I feel like a terrible dad. I don't have any excuse for why I acted like such an idiot, but... It's just that the case I was working on has gotten to me and I just let out my anger at the closest thing I found and I'm sorry."

"Yeah, he's like that." Shannon made a face. "And it's so wrong."

From the corner of his eye, Tony looked at her.

"You know, I've always been at his case for that; he's just terrible at compartmentalizing."

Tony's eyebrow went up; he wasn't sure he knew what that meant.

"She means I'm terrible at separating things from each other." Jethro helped with a sad chuckle. "She's right. I always mix everything; get angry with one thing when something else is upsetting me and taking it out on the wrong people when I've had a bad day somewhere else."

"This is what he did again. Add displacement issue to being terrible at compartmentalizing; you gotta learn these big words; they define your dad whenever he gets too frustrated with his cases." Shannon took it from there, shaking her head with an eye roll for good measure. "I don't know how much you've heard and I'm sorry you've heard anything at all or that those things were uttered at all; but you gotta know that we love you and we love having you here with us; you've got no idea how much you being our son means to us or has helped us."

"Nothing makes us happier, Tony." Jethro said sincerely. "The day you came into our lives is one of the best days of my life and I'm telling you I'd never _ever_ change it for anything."

Tony bit his lip and nodded. "Thanks."

"I know it's hard for you to believe me, but it's the truth, Son. I said I wanted quiet but the last week had been torture; I never want it quiet again; in fact, I'll write it down and if I ever said it again you can use it against me in the court."

That made the boy chuckle; he was old enough to know it was a stupid thing to say and that the court didn't work like that.

The quiet chuckle boosted the parents' spirits; they've missed that sound so much.

"And you gotta know, even when I was being a complete ass-"

"Whoa-" Shannon's eyes narrowed.

Jethro grimaced; yeah, bad word.

Tony grinned, though.

And Shannon shook her head, knowing that, this time, Jethro had used that language deliberately.

"Umm, yeah, sorry, when I was being... _that..._ or well _,_ a jerk." He rolled his eyes and was happy to hear Tony snicker again, "Your mom was chewing me out; she knew I didn't mean it and told me so and then she pretty much told me off for it because she was so mad at me. And you know what I was happy about?"

Tony shook his head.

"I was happy that you haven't heard a word that I'd said." Jethro shook his head. "How stupid am I? I didn't know you've heard me and I was happy for that, because I regretted saying those things and the thought of you hearing them and getting hurt or upset broke my heart and made me hate myself even more. And when we realized that you've actually heard..." He sighed and clenched his jaw; it physically hurt him to remember what his blundering and inconsiderate words had put his son through.

"What we're trying to say is that," Shannon took Tony from her husband and led him to sit by her side so she could pull him into a hug. "We love you and we're so happy you're in our lives. We want you to make as much noise as you like and never ever let this house get quiet again."

"Amen to that." Jethro, too, moved to the other side of the bed and sat down, putting his arm around Shannon so he could feel both his wife and his son against his body. "I never want you to even think that anything your father had said had been true; everything, Tony, everything that man had said to you had been lies, including the things he'd said about you. You're an amazing boy; don't let anyone make you doubt that. Not even me. Because as you just saw, I can be such an idiot sometimes."

"Amen to that." Shannon muttered, echoing the words her husband had used merely seconds earlier.

"You believe us, right?" Jethro asked his son, quietly, sounding unsure. "You know that I didn't mean anything I said, right?"

Tony swallowed hard and bit his lip.

"Tony?"

"I don't wanna disappoint you." He finally said quietly.

"Oh! Son, you can never disappoint us; not even if you tried."

Shannon nodded her agreement. "And what _ever_ you do with your life, we'll _always_ be on your side and we'll always have your back; even if you do something stupid. We're a family now and family stick together no matter what. And you know what? I'm just sure that you'll always make the right decisions; in the short time that you've been our son, you've shown everyone how amazingly smart you are. We're so proud of you."

"So true." Gibbs confirmed, sounding actually proud. "So, I just want you to do one thing;" He said and gently turned Tony's head to be able to look him in the eyes. "I want you to run around-"

"Preferably not _in_ the house." Shannon interrupted him. "You might fall down and hurt yourself." She shrugged.

"Yeah, OK. I want you to _play_ around and make as much noises as you need in order to be happy. We want you to be happy, Tony. You got that?"

Tony smiled tentatively.

Gibbs winked at him and kissed his head. He knew it'd take a while for Tony to get back to what he'd been prior to that awful night; but he could see it in Tony's eyes that they'd made a huge progress already; that they no longer were scary like his father was. Of course, Tony would still be wary and careful for a while; but he knew just what kind of push Tony needed to get his playful spirit back.

Oh, man; the pranks he had in mind to pull on everyone around them.

But hey, it was for Tony and he'd do _anything_ for his children and well, if he had some fun in the meantime, who could say anything?

He felt so lucky and grateful that Tony was such a forgiving and resilient child; he'd been through hell and not only wasn't he bitter or aggressive -like many people, child or adult, would be-, he still found it pretty easy to forgive people who hurt him and he kept bouncing back.

And Gibbs would prove it that, this time, he'd meant what he said; that the day Tony became his son was one of the best days of his life.

**.**

**.**

**The End...**

**.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next one will have a new story line; totally unrelated to this one or the ones before this.


End file.
